I think it goes without saying, this year has gone extremely quickly, and I'm yet to meet someone who thinks otherwise. It is somehow already September, Autumn is most certainly in the air and I've begun getting more than excited for the chilly weather festivities to come. But before we can dig out our winter coats, wellies and throws, a certain day arrives on our calendar. And that date is the 5th of September, the day our darling Snowflake was due to enter the world, meaning that this year he or she would have been turning one years old.
It's completely and utterly surreal for myself and Simon to imagine ourselves with a one year old now, it feels like we have been mourning the loss of Snowflake for an eternity. We would do anything to have Snowflake here with us, but there is something special and a certain depth that comes with loss, it gives life so much more meaning and you no longer have the energy for any sort of negative relationships.
The 5th fell on a Saturday and we had a really slow morning at home, we was in no rush to get out of the door! We headed out for the first time around lunch time to a restaurant for some scrummy food, before going for a long, long, sunny walk in the park. We spotted out dragon flies, even saw a white feather, it was a beautiful afternoon. The whole day we both felt really content, and since we were expecting the worst, it came as a pleasant surprise.
This year we wanted to let off sky lanterns (last year we let off balloons, you can read all about that here) but unfortunately I couldn't get any in time, but very luckily for us a girl I went to high school with had some, and very kindly gave us them.
We headed to the same spot as last year, but unfortunately it was just too windy and the lanterns fell apart at every attempt we made. Already quite sensitive with the day in mind, we found this utterly heart breaking. I felt like I once again had failed as a mother, our baby had no gift to say we was thinking of her.
Not ones to give up, and big believers in 'better late than never' we purchased some balloons a few days later and headed back to our favourite spot, where we had the perfect evening we wished for.
