Miscarriage update

'She wasn't just expecting a baby... 

    she was expecting the rest of their lives'


After the whole palaver in Tenerife, then coming home and being treated for infection I was sure that, that pregnancy was now over, and we could begin thinking about a new pregnancy. But boy was I wrong! I continued on to get another infection, this time a water infection which is apparently very common in ladies who have had a d & c. I've never had a water infection and was always curious to know how people even knew they had them. I never imagined them to be painful. Again, I was very wrong. The pressure and pain that came with the infection was unbelievable, I was very thankful that a trip to the walk in centre and some antibiotics later, the pain had gone. By that point I was rather ticked off to say the least.

A few weeks later, myself and Simon were pleased with our emotional healing, and physically my body was feeling back to its pre pregnancy state. I even instagrammed as part of my 100 happy days how content I was feeling about where we were in life at that point. That unfortunately didn't last as long as we would have liked, as we shortly walked head first into more bad news! On a Wednesday morning I got up as usual and we went about our morning routine, until something literally fell out of my foo-foo, it was alien-like and me and Simon were absolutely devastated at it's likeness to a fetus. We got an emergency appointment at the doctors and we sent what we found to the lab. For the next week we put it out of our minds the best we could, we didn't know what the outcome would be so we chose not to waste our energy making up possible scenarios. For us, the worst case scenario was that either we had unfortunately met snowflake, or that we had lost another pregnancy. Luckily, neither was the case.

Today I should have reached my six week recovery mark, we were thrilled to have come so far and we thought we could finally begin making plans for a future pregnancy. Yesterday we got an early call from a very lovely doctor who has seen us multiple times since my operation, he seemed sad himself to be giving us more bad news. It was the placenta that fell out of me, and I am going to have to have another D & C operation to make sure there isn't anything else remaining in my uterus. I am really upset to have to go through another six weeks of recovery, it felt like forever this time, and knowing i'm walking straight back into it feels awful. But, I have to have it, and I am somewhat grateful I discovered what I discovered. Currently, I may be infertile, my body may be under the impression it is still carrying a baby, which would mean I wouldn't ovulate or have a period, making it impossible to conceive again.

If the operation means we are one step closer to our dream, then an operation is what I must have. This time we will be in england, it'll be on the nhs, our family will be around us and there will be no language barrier (phew). But sadly no mermaid Jorge.